Have you ever met a people pleaser?
Someone who is worried about what people think about them.
They blow with the wind. Molding, adapting themselves to get people to like them rather than letting their true being shine.
That was me.
Growing up I was quite self-conscious.
A scrawny little kid, smaller than everyone else in my classes. An August birthday resulted in getting an early start to school while being the youngest in class.
The truth is I got picked on for being the ‘small kid’…
One guy in middle school used to say to me, “You are so scrawny, you are going to blow away in the wind.”
Like a leaf!!!
Lol … I laugh about it now, but sheesh … I am sooooooo sensitive to others being bullied now because of the damage it does.
Over the years, I found myself doing things over the years to get people to like me. Things that weren’t me.
Trying to prove I am smart. To appear desirable to women. To prove, I can be a success.
And that came through in my early blogging. It led to a lot of filters and a chip on my shoulder. And trying to appeal to the wrong people.
No matter where you are at in your blogging journey, you have nothing to prove.
You are good enough.
You don’t need the comments and likes of your posts to validate what you are doing. What if your social network is the wrong audience for your message anyways?
Imagine just starting off blogging and you get zero comments on your published post. It can be defeating. Disheartening.
What if someone comments and is from a place of negativity?
You do this for YOU.
Often, I see people freeze before they even get started. They stay stuck in fear because they are doing it for the wrong reason.
If you love to write, then write. If you love to paint, then let painting set you free.
Obsess over it because it fills your bucket up.
I’ve noticed it myself. The rush of validation we can get when people click the little thumbs up button on Facebook.
When you stop “hustling for likes”, that is when you can be most true to yourself and get the right message out.
Which oddly enough, results in the likes coming.
You don’t need someone to tell you are good enough because you know you are. And what you do does not define you as a human being.
Just never lose sight of this thought…
“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.” -Stephen Pressfield (War of Art)
Don’t confuse this with marketing. Blogging follows the 80/20 rule pretty closely.
20 percent of your time should be spent creating and 80 percent of your time should be spent promoting.
That is if you want ever to make money online.
Marketing your message IS important. But, you must take the pressure off of yourself first before you can discover your message and market it to the RIGHT audience.
Right now, I am currently leading a blogging challenge that over 500 people have registered. In three days, we collectively have written over 550 blog posts. It’s a pretty incredible movement.
What I’ve discovered through the process is that as soon as we took the pressure off of everyone to have to conform to an image of what blogging has to look like, many of the challengers have experienced more freedom and are feeling comfortable with where they are at in the process.
If you are struggling, it’s okay to talk about it.
Artificial deadlines and pressures can destroy your creativity or help it depending how you look at it. In this case, one blog post per day has helped many people.
Some it’s getting easier for as they let go of the belief of how things need to look.
Myself, I find it easier to let go of my topic list and ask myself, “What do I want to write about today?”
And just let it flow.
Slowly take the pressure off of yourself and you will find the joy returning to your art.
Make it your art.
If you look down at your feet, you are standing exactly where you should be. 😉